save now buy later
Mama Ant and I were talking about something that someone I know is going to buy. She balked when I told her that they were going to wait until they had enough money to pay for it outright, and I agreed with that plan. She said it would take forever to get it that way - why would they wait? They could just get a decent down payment together and then the payments wouldn’t even be that high. Before you know it, it would be paid off.
Wow. I felt like we were speaking two different languages.
Don’t get me wrong - I think that credit can be a very good and useful thing. I’m using it to pay for my education, my car, and I’ll soon have a mortgage of my own. But those are pretty much the only things I think I really need to pay for over time, and I’m using "need" very loosely. In fact, I told my mom last night about my plan to finish paying for my current car ahead of schedule and to pay for my next car without financing. I also told Mama Ant that I anticipate not relying on credit to furnish My Own Home, and she listened patiently and approvingly. But I think, from the tone in her voice over the phone, that she thinks I’m just being ‘extra’.
I explained my reasoning. There have been times when I’ve been unemployed, and one of my principal concerns was how to keep up with at least the minimum payments on my credit card balances. I never want to have that question again. Also, I never want to stay in a job situation I don’t like because it would be too difficult to sustain my debt load. It just makes too much sense to me to avoid debt and avoid having monthly payments as much as possible. I love the way it feels to know at the end of each month that there is absolutely no balance on any of my credit cards. Mama Ant could relate to that, but she said that she’s cleaned her cards off only to (seemingly inevitably) load them back up again. At this point in the conversation, I felt like I was trying to convert a lost soul.
My mom is not a crazy person. She is not stupid. She even has her reservations about debt, and she’s no slouch when it comes to fiscal responsibility. Yet I fear that she is far too comfortable with the idea of "Buy now, pay later." It is as if "Save now, buy later" is no longer acceptable to her. Why delay your gratification? I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that I spent the first ten years of my adult life under the shadow of credit-card debt balances. I’m not blaming my debt on my parents… but perhaps I got into some of that debt because of an aversion to delayed gratification that could very possibly have been learned at home. I don’t know. But to see my mom go towards her golden years with this attitude and hardly any retirement savings is simultaneously sobering and frightening.
First, I hope your interview went well. Secondly, I think the more you talk to your mom about finances, the more will sink in. You didn’t learn about finances overnight and if you’ve been doing something for years, its hard to release old habits. This is a lesson to you though to teach your kids early on about delayed gratification and the importance of savings. And I also plan to furnish my house slowly with cash only. It’s a shame that my friends make comments about me just financing stuff b/c i’ll be a homeowner.. But I’m stern in setting a budget for what I want and paying out of that only!
Comment by Serenity23 — June 20, 2008 @ 6:16 am
I have similar conversations with my mother & other family members. On the one hand I agree w/ S23 that it will sink in over time, on the other I know that some people will just never take much interest in personal finance.
Comment by K. — June 20, 2008 @ 9:24 am
I have the same situation with my mother! She feels exactly the way yours does, which makes it so difficult for me to make changes in my thinking. It really takes courage and strength to break the cycle…especially when it comes to saving for retirement. Definitely a frightening thought to not have anything. I soooo relate to this post. Thanks for sharing!
I think that there are cycles that influence us, and that like you, we should recognize them and make a conscious effort to chart our own more progressive paths!
Comment by AP — July 2, 2008 @ 7:47 pm