emotional spending
When can spending because of emotions be good? I’ve read many times about the pitfalls of emotional spending. But I think most spending outside of necessities is emotional. We buy things because we want them. That wanting comes from somewhere, and if it’s not wanting something we truly need, the want probably stems from something that we’re feeling. The music makes us feel good. The plays inspire us. The traveling helps us unwind. The food tastes good and makes us feel fun. We like being with others, so we spend money sometimes on the time we spend with them. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
I spent emotionally this weekend. I ate out this weekend twice. You know I don’t eat out much! I ordered pizza and buffalo wings for delivery on Friday, and then I went to a late lunch with my best friend Sistah Beginner on Sunday. Twice in three days! And you know what, it was totally emotional.
People caution others against too much frugality, because sometimes it can lead to overspending to compensate for the emotional feelings that can come from feeling deprived. I don’t disagree with that altogether. I think it does happen to people. But even when I spend emotionally, I don’t spend crazily. Friday’s pizza and wings was a direct result of me being hungry, tired of New Year’s leftovers, and tired of craving pizza and not getting it. I had the money, so I spent it. In retrospect, it was worth every penny to be able to crave something and get it. I went out to lunch at a diner with Sistah Beginner because she invited me, and we don’t see each other nearly as often as we should. I had a great time, and spent less than $20 on the meal and tip - in fact that meal cost less than the pizza and wings (and for the record, even the pizza and wings lasted us until Sunday). In retrospect, it was worth even more than what I paid to break bread with my homegirl. I still have money to get by between now and the next time I get some income. I knew the emotional reasons why I was spending the money at the time that I made my purchases, and I controlled the amount of my spending according to what I could afford. My point is that emotional spending does not have to be synonymous with overspending.
Sistah Beginner, on the other hand, has admitted to emotional spending. She’s got a lot going on right now, personally, in some of her relationships. She wants to advance her education and her income, but she’s finding the task difficult, and is sometimes discouraged by the amount of difficulty involved. She is dissatisfied with the outcome of some of the choices that she’s made in the past. And sometimes, it all gets emotionally draining. She admits that she eats out more often than she should - it’s a way of treating herself. She goes to the movies. But it adds up and her money is too tight - she is overspending. At some point she will have to, among other things, get better control over how much her emotions affect her spending, and I know that she can do it, because I’ll say it again: emotional spending does not have to be synonymous with overspending.
I don’t know how I fit into the whole emotional spending. I know that sometimes as far as entertainment, I do it b/c I hate to say no to other people regarding going out b/c I’m known to be the social person. I think my overspending is caused by pure laziness. Not planning meals in advance and being too lazy to cook. It’s a lifestyle that has been built up for years, but now I’m trying to be more disciplined and turn that around.
Comment by s23 — January 7, 2008 @ 12:54 pm
Let the choir say amen! There’s nothing necessarily wrong with emotional spending, as you indicated with your example. However some people use spending as a crutch, similar to how some use food or drugs/alcohol. If only everyone were as self-aware as you.
Comment by GeckoGirl — January 7, 2008 @ 1:14 pm
My point is that emotional spending does not have to be synonymous with overspending.
Love it– as long as you have all your ducks in a row, who cares !
Comment by moneymonk — January 7, 2008 @ 1:15 pm
For me I think it comes from feeling deprived after a period of too much frugality. I’m at the point now that after tracking expenses for a few months I have a reasonable budget that I’ve been able to follow w/o feeling deprived, while still accomplishing my goals.
Comment by K. — January 7, 2008 @ 1:17 pm
I spent a lot of money in December, but I wouldn’t catergorize it as emotional spending. It was lazy spending (like your pizza order). For example, I forgot to pack a lunch…so I order take-out. Or I don’t feel like going out, so I rent a movie and stay in.
Comment by SavingDiva — January 7, 2008 @ 4:05 pm
I think emotional spending is fine, only if it’s not habitual. The important thing is to know your limits. IMO, ordering pizza when you feel like crap and having lunch with your best friend is cheaper than therapy. LOL
Comment by Single Ma — January 10, 2008 @ 11:59 am