umbrella conspiracy
I don’t care how much I’ve paid for an umbrella, I cannot find one that lasts longer than a few uses. Now I understand that if they were made so that the wind just really couldn’t destroy them, we probably wouldn’t be able to carry them for heaviness or something like that. But you can’t tell me that we can put people in space, trace folks back to Africa using mitochondrial DNA, and take pictures of a fetus’ face while he’s still in his mama, but we can’t get somebody to engineer a decent and affordable umbrella with hinges that don’t rust, canopies that don’t leak through the seams, prongs that stay in the joint that connects the frame to the canopy, and some decent wind resistance. That’s not asking too much.
It’s all just ridiculous.
I think it’s possible. I am even tempted to think that most umbrellas are crap because the manufacturers know that way, you’ll have to buy another one, at the worst possible time - a rainy, windy, gloomy, messy day when you’re on your way somewhere and you can’t get there wet, and you don’t happen to have a spare on you, so you just buy another one on an unplanned, impromptu purchase. I hate impromptu shopping. There’s no time and often not enough selection to make decent comparisons, AND it’s not budgeted for or anticipated.
If I could boycott umbrellas, I would. I’d lead a movement.
But um, it’s raining outside. And what I’m really doing is hoping that this worthless excuse for an umbrella holds up on my way home tonight, with its broken hinge and floppy canopy. ‘Cause I really don’t feel like having to buy another one. Yet…
I know the umbrella manufacturers are just having their way with me.
