with love
I love to give gifts. I just don’t like to pay for them.
It’s fun to give gifts, and I try to specialize in getting people stuff they want. It’s even better if it’s something they want, but didn’t want to, or think to, get for themselves. I like shopping for gifts. I like wrapping gifts. I like keeping gift secrets and surprising people with gifts. I like when people are excited by gifts - when they can’t wait to do stuff with their gifts. It’s a great feeling.
But whew. Sometimes, it’s hard to make that happen. My best friend got married a few months ago, and between the bridesmaid’s dress, gas for travel to and from the wedding, taking time from work, the shoes, paying for my class… my wallet was wore out just thinking about shopping. At the time, I was just broke. Now it would have come out better if I’d put a little to the side ahead of time here and there. But sometimes, I don’t have a little to put to the side (especially when I don’t plan ahead - shame on me). She got married at the worst possible time for me to try to afford a nice gift. Then, of course, by the time I got paid, all the affordable gifts on the registry were already paid for. I’m sorry, but I can’t spend more money on you than I spent on myself in the last three or four months, homie, even though we go way way back. Time passed, other priorities have predominated my focus (my class), and throw in miscellaneous other worthless excuses here - I still have yet to get the happy couple a token of best wishes. I will now, though. I have more time to shop and I’ll find the money. Of course, all of this could have been avoided if she’d postponed the wedding to fit within my pay period! (I know, I know, I’m wrong. But at least mildly amusing.)
I’m going home to visit my cousin, his wife, and their new baby girl soon, and when I go, I’ll be sure to come bearing gifts for the little one. And my parents’ 33rd anniversary is soon, so I’ll have to pick up something for them too. Add that to the gas, munchies, and whatever we do when we get down there (beach? movies?) and I’m really in for some spending. I might as well start crunching my numbers now.
I would complain outright, but it feels wrong to do so - I’m happy to be going home and seeing family. And they didn’t ask for their gifts, nor will they be upset if they don’t get anything. Gift-giving is good for me. Generosity strengthens my heart. And reinforces my understanding of my blessings - those who can afford to give gifts are truly blessed. It’s something I need to do to fend off my debt-slayer’s inner Scrooge. So I will give. Cheerfully.
