early to rise
Back to work today. I was great up until I got home (and comfortable) and had to go back out into the world to run an errand. I think it was then that I realized how exhausted my body was, how hard my head had been pounding since four o’clock, how much I wanted to sit and vegetate and just do nothing. Behind this final exam and the studying, the traveling and the general hecticness of my schedule over the past week or so, I feel entitled to take a breather, not run to the store, or here and there. I’m tired. PMSing. Hot. When my errand was done, I went to the corner store and spent five dollars on a bag full of junk food, came home and ate it instead of real food, because one, I am not cooking, and two, it’s too hot in here to cook even if I wanted to. And on top of all that, I have to be at work an hour earlier tomorrow because we have a big deal to work on under time pressure, so I have to show up early with my A game.
This afternoon, when my boss "asked" if I could show up early, I said, "Of course," with enthusiasm as if I’d already planned on it. ‘Cause guess what? When it really comes down to it, ain’t nothing going on but the rent… and the bills… so my PMS-having, quarter-bag-of-barbecue-corn-chips eating self will be setting the alarm back an extra hour. Because being a team player is more lucrative than sleeping in.
I read a blog (wish I could remember whose) about making sacrifice to make changes in your life. When I have days like this, I am reminded of the big quality of life picture that underlies all of this planning and debt repayment. The peace of mind of freedom from debt, retirement funds in the bank, and ample provision for my present and future family’s well being is worth sacrifice. If I ever want to get my career to a point where I can have my subordinate come in early to assist me so that I can leave work early on the day of a big deal, I’m going to have to get up early. I’m going to have to get to work early. I’m going to have to learn how to take the lead, how to answer the tough questions, how to make things happen like my boss does.
So um, yeah. I’ll be going to bed earlier than usual tonight.
