how much will it cost?
So I’m already thinking about making another progress bar specifically for my wedding. It seems like when most other people decide to get married, they pull together what money they have at that time, and budget with what they have. Or get into debt. That seems backwards to me - I want to anticipate costs, then save that much and use the savings. But I need to know what my goal is so that I can shoot for it.
I told my honey that we are not allowed to use debt to finance our wedding at all. And if that means we have something small, so be it. I never wanted a lavish, extravagant, ice sculpture, 7 tiered cake, 10 piece band, Hummer limousine, grand chandelier kind of shindig. My bare minimum requirements are an outside ceremony and the presence of my parents, grandmother, and his immediate family. Anything beyond that is totally negotiable/expendable. But I know that it’s nicer to try to include extended family members, close friends, etc. I’m already kicking and screaming at the possible cost. I alone have more than 10 aunts and uncles. Extrapolate that out into cousins and significant others/spouses. Then select college friends, sorority sisters, friends since college… now we’re talking a village, and I haven’t even counted his family. Do I look like Smurfette? I can’t have enough Smurfberries to take care of that many people without serious, serious bank. And it would take forever to save enough to have that kind of money. I have to find a tactful way to keep this sucker small, and I gotta figure this out if I want to know how much to save.
My parents were married in an aunt’s back yard out in the country. It was a sunny day. They had dozens of chairs from the church, a lattice made by an uncle with flowers weaved into the lattice, a bouquet, a simple dress and rented tux, and a family-made soul food buffet (not some old dry bland hotel chicken and string beans, which I’ve eaten twice in the past year), which was served out of the dining room. They paid the pastor his honorarium, and when the ceremony was over, they went home to their apartment and had drinks with their friends. And they lived happily ever after for the past 33 years. The End. I hear that back in the day, this was generally how people did it - or at least their receptions, after they left the church ceremony.
This week, I’m thinking something like that would make me happy. My honey says he doesn’t care, even if it’s the courthouse, as long as it’s with me, so I pretty much have carte blanche. I wonder how much the back yard thing would cost today. I am really thinking that’s the way to go. Hmm… Plus a honeymoon… I have a few family members with big enough back yards. My future mother-in-law has one, too. I think I’ll run a rough draft plan for a wedding like that and that will be my savings goal. Then I can tell my parents and my honey and we can work together to make it happen.
Girl you really are focused. It’s good that you guys [plan on not using debt to finance the wedding. It is a very important day, but would you rather have a decent wedding and be able to afford a very nice house for your future together, or have something extravagent and just keep renting? I think you guys have the right idea.
Comment by Rad — July 10, 2007 @ 9:55 am
Most men do not care about a wedding. It is mostly for the woman.
Love is love, courthouse or in someone home. If the person loves you it would not matter where.
The smart thing is do not go into debt. I know a girl that paid for her wedding ring and the wedding ( on her credit cards) 7 years later she is still paying the debt. In addition to mortgage, cars, student loans, etc.
Starting a marriage off in debt is not the best option. Concentrate on paying off your current debt and saving. Financially you both want to be on the same page.
It worked for us. 6 years strong!
Comment by Moneymonk — July 10, 2007 @ 12:35 pm
You are doing it the right way. I got married almost four years ago and we paid for everything with cash. I think in total, our wedding cost $12K. My best friend got married two years before and she spent $25K. All it takes is a little research and the ability to compromise. Instead of a lavish honeymoon, we went to the Catskills. My dress was $600 and it was a designer dress. The original dress was $300 but it was tea length and my mama wasn’t trying to hear that. I found a nice lady who used to be a seamstress in a bridal salon in Italy to make me a veil for $100 and she did the alterations. The reception was so cheap, like $35 a plate. I found a Russian Orthodox church in a nearby town that had a HUGE reception hall an dthe food was good and they made my cake to my specifications. I got a plain limo for the bridal party (we got the Bentley). The videographer was a college classmate of mine who had his own business and he hooked up us with a guy who did wondeful pictures. And I made my own favors.
Comment by Shay — July 10, 2007 @ 1:37 pm